The Age Old Question: Should I Have Children at a Wedding?
There is much debate over whether or not you should allow children at a wedding. Some people believe that it is a special day for adults and that children should be kept away. Others think that children should be included in all aspects of life and that they should be allowed to attend weddings. I’d like to begin with: I am a mother of five and grandmother of one as well as a wedding planner & photographer. I offer a unique perspective from both sides that I think you should consider before allowing children at a wedding.
For children, weddings may be confusing and overwhelming. Most do not understand the significance of the ceremony, nor what is expected of them. Ultimately, the decision over whether or not to include children is up to the couple getting married. Here are things to consider about children at a wedding.
The Wedding Professionals Perspective
As we mentioned before children at a wedding don’t understand what’s going on and because a wedding day is out of the ordinary they may become overwhelmed or worse, over excited. Get ready for a jaw drop…most wedding pros are bringing $35,000 in equipment so they can serve your wedding with the best care possible. When deciding to invite children to your wedding consider the damage that may occur to your wedding vendors equipment if a child gets too excited and trips over or runs into sensitive gear. Don’t regret losing precious photos or entertainment time due to damage to vendor gear.
If you’re going to have children at a wedding with expensive and sensitive equipment its best to have a designated children’s area far from these items or supply the vendors a way to safely keep their gear from harm.
Your Wedding Expectations
The next thing to consider about children at a wedding is your own expectations. If you’re hosting a classy, elegant evening affair with expensive decor children’s presence may not be welcome. However, if your dream wedding is a backyard BBQ with a jump house and a waterslide kids will have a blast! Remember that the atmosphere you create at your wedding should largely determine if kids are on the guest list or not.
If you’re hosting at a venue it’s a good idea to ask the venue staff how they feel about children at weddings. Many will frown on it as they know kids don’t understand or appreciate the cost and time they invested in their venue to create the perfect atmosphere.
The Parents Perspective
Really sit back and think about why you’re considering children at a wedding. Is it because their parents are on your guest list? I’m betting it is unless you’re a preschool teacher who just loves spending every waking minute with those adorable little faces.
If you love your friends and family and you want to spend quality time celebrating at the wedding, don’t you want them to be free of distraction to do so? If they have to chase after their kids or entertain their kids the entire time they won’t be able to focus on relaxing and enjoying the amazing atmosphere you’ve provided for them. You invest a lot of money into your guests comfort. Make sure the adults can appreciate it.
And from personal experience, last fall I was able to attend a wedding as a guest and I left my own little ones at home. I had the best time ever celebrating and visiting.
Consider the Children at a Wedding
Let’s face it. Do children at a wedding actually have a good time? Usually they don’t even know what’s going on. They’re tired, hungry and grumpy. After all, they’re out of their element surrounded by a bunch of strangers in weird clothes being told NO all night long.
(Another personal story here- see that adorable little guy to the right? That’s my grandson! He was the guest at a wedding I recently shot. He spent the night wriggling away from mom to chase after me yelling. He really had no idea what was happening.)
I guarantee that if you’re hosting a traditional wedding reception the children will be happiest with a sitter playing a board game, watching a movie and munching on popcorn. Heck, you could be the best friend ever by providing that sitter in a hotel room while mom & dad enjoy the reception downstairs!
In conclusion, the type of celebration you’re hosting should determine if child friendly or child free wedding is best for you. An early ending outdoor wedding with lots of entertainment for young ones may be great for kids, but a black tie affair in the evening with crystal champagne glasses is a no fly zone for children. Talk to your wedding planner to decide if children belong at your wedding.
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