Figuring Out Your Wedding Ceremony Order
A wedding ceremony order of events can be quite complex, depending on the type of wedding and what traditions the couple wants to uphold. However, a few basics are always included, such as exchanging rings and reciting vows. After getting these formalities figured out you can focus on having the most amazing day of your life! These details will be worked out ahead of time between you, your Wedding Planner or Day of Coordinator, and your officiate. Your officiate will understand most of the flow of a ceremony as they conduct it. However, I’ve met plenty that do not understand who walks when, why this order is followed, or where they stand when they arrive. If your officiate isn’t quite sure, this Wedding Ceremony Order guide should come in very helpful.
The Prelude
The Prelude is first in our Wedding Ceremony Order. The prelude is the 30 minute time period before your ceremony officially begins during which time your ushers should be showing guests to their seats. Traditionally, the bride stands to the left of the altar if you’re facing it, so the left becomes the ‘Bride’s Side’. However, a more contemporary approach that we suggest is swapping guest seating sides for the benefit of both your parents and yourself. On the traditional seating side parents are only seeing a side or back view of their child’s face, therefore missing the real emotion. By swapping sides mom & dad can now view their child’s face during the ceremony. Bride & Groom can also see mom & dad because of the angle. We love that the family can witness this! I’m mentioning this because you need to make the decision on how your guests will be sat. Your ushers need to be aware if they are asking guests which side to be seated on, or if you’re throwing that tradition out all together and allowing everyone to sit where they want. I’ll advise you on how many ushers you need based on your guest count to usher all of your guests in a timely fashion. It is preferable that ushers are NOT groomsmen. Your DJ or Musician will play instrumentals while your guests flow in.
The Mother’s Seating
The first ‘Official’ in the Wedding Ceremony Order. Traditionally, the bride’s family paid a dowry for the wedding so the bride’s mother is sat first. Typically she is sat by a close family relative other than her husband, the bride’s father, who should be waiting with the bride. However, if the bride’s parents are divorced the step-father can walk her. After that, the groom’s mother is presented and escorted typically by an usher or close family member with the groom’s father following closely behind. Although, it’s not uncommon for the groom’s father to escort his wife. This is a minor detail you can let them decide. After mother’s typically come grandmother’s if you’re choosing to have them formally seated as well. If you’ve chosen the traditional seating the Bride’s mom will be seated in the Seat of Honor on the outside of the front left aisle. The opposite for the groom’s mother. If you’ve chosen to swap for a more emotional experience than Bride’s mom on the right with Groom’s mom on the left. **It should be noted that ladies are always escorted to the left of the gentlemen, close to their hearts.
Processional
This portion of the Wedding Ceremony Order is broken into a few pieces to make it easier.
The Groom’s Entrance– Officiate leads Groom, followed by Best Man, and then Groomsmen in order from closest to farthest away.
The Bridal Party- The Bride’s attendants come in farthest first to Maid Of Honor last, followed by Flower Girl spreading petals.
Bride’s Entrance- Bride enters escorted by her father or close male relative. As she approaches the last row of seats the officiate asks all to rise out of respect.
Typically the Officiate & Groom enter into silence, the Bridal Party has their own song and the Bride has a special song she’s chosen to walk to. Many times she surprises the groom with the song. Another version of this is only the Best Man accompanying the Groom while the groomsmen escort the Bridesmaids and the Maid Of Honor still walks alone.
Traditional Giving Away of the Bride
In today’s contemporary culture many couples have a new twist on this step in the ceremony. Traditionally, the officiate asks “Who gives this woman in marriage?”. The Bride’s father responds “I Do.” in acceptance. However, it’s not uncommon for both parents to respond or for the Officiate to ask instead “Who gives these two in marriage?” and both sets of parents to respond. At this point, the bride kisses her father and the groom steps forward to shake hands with his soon-to-be father in law and takes the bride by the hand leading her the remaining few feet to stand before the altar.
Welcome Message & Opening Prayer or Recitation of Faith
The next step in the Wedding Ceremony Order is the Welcome Message to guests where the Officiate will formally welcome the guests, explain the significance of their being witnesses to this union, and briefly explain his connection to the couple. Afterwards he/she will recite an opening statement of faith or prayer and then should ask guests to be seated. If he doesn’t, you can look down the aisle for your amusement as I’m jumping up and down waving my hands to get their attention so your photographer and videographer don’t have views blocked by standing guests. No joke, it’s happened. Ask some of my previous clients.
Special Readings or Musical Presentations
The next step in the Wedding Ceremony Order is any special readings, recitations, or musical performances the couple has planned. These are usually done in more traditional ceremonies like a Catholic Mass by the couple’s close family or friends. Typically, a scripture of importance or a poem that is significant is read.
Addressing of the Couple & Exchange of Vows
Following the presentations by family in the Wedding Ceremony Order is an address by the officiate to the couple about the symbolism and importance of marriage and marriage vows which leads into the couple exchanging their vows. These vows could be the traditional statements given by the officiate with both bride & groom confirming they agree or they could include hand written words of love the couple has prepared for each other. There is no wrong way to present your vows.
Ring Exchange
The Ring Exchange is next in the Wedding Ceremony Order of events. Most couples choose to have a Ring Bearer who symbolically carries a small pillow or cushion up the aisle. However, most times it’s not the ring bearer who has the rings. They are usually hidden safely away in the Best Man’s jacket pocket. Nowadays many couples ditch the pillow and have the Ring Bearers carry cute signs instead. When it’s time for the Ring Exchange the Officiate will ask the Best Man for them. When he has them he will bless them or say a few words explaining the tradition of wearing wedding rings. He will then present the rings to the bride & groom and they in turn will repeat more vows after the Officiate while placing the rings on each other’s fingers.
The Unity Ceremony
After the Ring Exchange in the Wedding Ceremony Order comes the Unity Ceremony. There are many versions of this moment. If you’re interested in learning more you can read our blog 5 Amazing Wedding Unity Ceremony Ideas. I’m not going to go into a lot of detail because we do have another linking blog that covers it.
The Proclamation & First Kiss
This is the biggest moment in the Wedding Ceremony Order if you ask most people. It’s the moment the bride & groom are officially “Pronounced husband & wife” by the Officiate and he/she excitedly tells them to lay one on each other! And the crowd goes wild cheering and laughing! This moment is often rushed so take your time and savor it. Let your Wedding Photographer & Wedding Videographer capture that once in a lifetime moment for you.
The Presentation & Recessional
This is the last part of your Wedding Ceremony Order. Once the couple has kissed and the applause has slowed the Officiate will turn the newlyweds around to their guests and present them as Husband & Wife for the first time ever! Joyous music will begin and the couple walks triumphantly down the aisle amidst their adoring family & friends. Make sure to wait for the music to begin and soak up the love. Don’t rush away. Following the newlyweds the Officiate will release the bridal party in pairs and then the VIP rows at the front. He/She will then follow the VIP guests out of the ceremony location. The remaining guests will leave on their own accord. You did it!!! You’re married!
In conclusion, a typical wedding ceremony order in the United States happens with a few main parts. The couple exchanged vows, rings are exchanged, and a kiss seals the deal. There may be readings, music, or prayers involved as well. After the ceremony is complete, the newlyweds celebrate with their friends and family. Congratulations!
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